We are having a BABY!

In case you missed the news... We are having a baby!!!

It still feels very unreal to me. Every time I would tell someone I would want to whisper it so I wouldn't jinx myself.

I guess I'll start by saying this... I am VERY grateful for the difficult road it has been to get this baby here and healthy. The last 20 months have been very difficult. My point in writing this post isn't to get people's sympathy for me or Colton. We actually don't want it. We would gladly take on this trial/blessing rather than have our siblings or loved ones have to go through it. This post is to let any other families or women out there know that they are not alone when you are given the hard task of having fertility issues. Sometimes the worst news turns out to be the greatest.

Some people might remember my post in January called "My Most Dreaded Post" where Colton and I had a miscarriage back in early 2012. From there, we decided it was time to have a baby and we would try until we got one... Well, months and months and months went by where we still had no baby. A year later, we decided to go see our OB and get things checked out. Good thing we did because we received some news no couple ever wants to hear... We had fertility issues and would need to see a specialist. A million questions, emotions, concerns, etc run through your mind in a matter of seconds when they drop the bomb on you. After we got the results, we were told we would never have children just on our own, we would always need help and we would more than likely have to do IVF treatments. At that point, I was scared and sad. What did all that mean?

Since I have the best dad out there, who works so hard, I am able to have AMAZING insurance so we decided to go with one of the top doctors in Arizona. And why not? When it was all going to be 100% covered, it's best to get the best! I called, set up the appointment and then we had to wait 10 long weeks.

Our doctor seriously changed my whole outlook on the situation. Before we met her, I was sad and cried a lot. IVF is very expensive and not even guaranteed to work the first time around. First time meeting our doctor, she hugged me and shook Colton's hand, she knew our entire cart, history and tests from memory. She told us that our numbers were not as bad as someone had previously told us and good thing she specializes in getting babies here as natural as possible. We both were retested and our numbers went UP! They were low before and did not go up to amazing numbers but they still went UP! I wanted to try to get our baby here as naturally as possible. I was scared to get multiples or get on any drugs to increase fertility. So, we decided the first couple months to just try the simplest "fertility" treatment. That was giving myself a shot in the belly that makes it so we basically knew the exact hour I was most fertile. TMI? I think not! I've been through a LOT in the last few months and so nothing is tmi to me anymore. Got questions for me? Good, ask me anything!

First month of any treatment... We got positive tests! The doctor, myself and Colton were beyond shocked but hey, these things happen. We had gone close to 15 months with no baby and on our first "fertility try", we got a baby.  The best part about our fertility office is that they literally cheered out loud when I told them we were pregnant!

Then came the scary stuff... I began to bleed a little bit very early on and immediately thought "oh no, here we go again". The office checked my levels and I found out my body basically makes none of the progesterone that it should make to keep the baby alive and healthy. I also found out I have thyroid issues that needed to be addressed right away. I got on a very expensive cream and some pills that helped with all that. Then it was 2 weeks of waiting before our first ultrasound. Here is a breakdown of the "pills" I took for almost 6 weeks: at one point, I was taking 12 pills to make my levels normal and using a cream 3 times a day. I got my blood drawn 27 times from January 1st until August 8th. Basically, I felt like a pin cushioned, old lady with my bruised arms and 10,000 pill bottles by my bed. I just want to make it clear though that none of the pills were to increase fertility. They all were to keep my baby and me healthy. I say this only because we are SUPER proud that our baby came to us naturally because people told us that would not happen. I have nothing against fertility drugs at all! I just am happy we never had to use them.

On July, 12th 2013, Colton and I got to see our baby that was only 6 weeks old. We even saw its heart beating!!!! Even though it was only the size of poppy seed and tiny, tiny, tiny ball shape. That day, and since then, my life has felt different. The trial that had kept me up for many nights, I shed many tears over, talked to a lot of people about finally had the ending I was hoping for. They told us that it was very early to see the baby's heart beat so it must be a strong little thing in there.

That's what a 6 week old baby looks like... My dad's response was the best, "it looks exactly like you did at this stage!" haha!

 7 days later we got an ultrasound and we HEARD the heart beating at 7 weeks. 136 precious beats per minute. There is no sound greater in the world then a baby's heart beating.

7 weeks and the baby still looks like... well, not a baby. haha!

Since then, everything has gone amazing! They told us things actually could not be going better. We "graduated" from our Fertility doctor on August 2nd. I'm not sure I can put into words how grateful I am to them. They gave us the outcome that people had told us we would not get on our own. We had 4 ultrasounds there and every time they were beyond excited and would just smile and cheer and point everything out like it was the first baby they had ever seen.

8 weeks. See that thing below the baby? (the grey-ish blob) That's the cord and we actually got to SEE blood pumping through it to the baby. That was a little bit weird to see but way cool.

9 weeks and the baby is head down. We got to see its arms and legs move. Excuse me, its tiny NUBS of arms and legs move. We actually got to watch it roll over too.

I can say this now, especially since I just went through it, but I actually feel sorry for those who don't have to go through what we did. In the most important weeks of a developing baby's life, we were monitored VERY closely.. I'm talking I got my blood drawn every 3 days for almost 4 weeks. I don't make enough progesterone on my own so without their close monitoring we would have had another miscarriage. Also, the reaction of our family and friends who knew what we have been going through has been priceless. People who normally aren't "emotional" people have cried. My grandma was the sweetest of them all. She does not know what we have been through but she cried and said "You will never know how happy I am for you and Colton. I had a feeling you were pregnant and I know that your baby is a very special baby." I could not agree more. Our baby feels incredibly special to us. Every test, result, hard day, months of nothing, all have been worth every single second of it the moment we saw our baby the first time. I remember looking over at Colton when we saw it and I have never seen him smiling that big before. I was already blessed with the most supportive, caring and loving husband and now there will be the three of us in my little family. Finally.

The girl who can't wait for March, 4th 2014,

Erica